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Title: Cartoon Characters Not Allowed
Fandom: Romani Detective
Pairing: Andrej Zeklos/James Redwood/Zayne Reyes
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 600
Summary: A cartoon character makes an appearance in the bedroom.
Author's Notes: The boys were borrowed with permission and have been duly returned. This sprang from an innocent conversation I had at work one long and boring evening.

“What the fuck are you wearing, cowboy?!” James exclaimed as he stopped short of the bed he shared with Andy and Zayne. He wasn’t surprised to see Zayne lounging naked in their bed. It was what was on his cock that defied explanation since it wasn’t any kind of sex toy he had seen before.

“It’s called a condom, narco,” Zayne retorted in a tone of voice that implied his lover was an idiot for asking such a dumb question in the first place.

“I can see that now,” James wryly remarked having stepped closer to the bed to examine the condom in question. Condom manufacturers needed to be regulated if they thought cartoon characters on a condom was a turn on.

“So?” Zayne prompted.

“Why are you wearing it?” James countered. They didn’t use condoms per se since they all were regularly tested and hadn’t been with anyone else since they had come together as an unofficial threesome, so James couldn’t help being curious as to why Zayne was wearing one tonight.

“I was dared,” Zayne countered with a sly smirk.

“Which one of the girls put you up to it?”

“Why do you ask?”

“One, because of your shit eating grin,” James said ticking off his reasons with his fingers. “And two because Andy is too reserved to do such a thing and three Jake knows better.”

“Trish,” Zayne admitted with a shrug of his shoulders. He hadn’t been dared, but he wasn’t going to admit that anytime soon. He just loved to yank the narco’s chain. It had become his favorite past time of late.

James snorted dryly. “Thought as much,” he muttered playing along with Zayne since he had a feeling that the cowboy was yanking his chain, but he wasn’t going to call him on it. He was tired and wanted to cuddle with his lovers. “Take it off.”


“Because Sponge Bob is not allowed in the bedroom,” Andy said from the doorway of the master bathroom having been drawn there by the sound of his lovers’ voices. He wasn’t in the mood to referee another silly argument between his lovers since he had a long and busy day doing the paperwork Zayne refused to do.

“You both are party poopers,” Zayne grumbled, but not really meaning it. He reached down and rolled the offending condom off and tossed it into the trash can next to the bed. “Better?”

“Much,” James said before undressing and joining Zayne on the bed. He patted the space between him and Zayne. “Care to join us, Andy?”

“I will, but with one stipulation,” Andy replied with a small smile as he switched off the bathroom light and walked over to the bed.

“And that is?” James inquired with a smile of his own since he had a feeling he knew what Andy’s stipulation would be.

“The day-glo condom that is in your wallet stays there,” Andy firmly answered as he took his place on the bed between his lovers.

“Day-glo condom, narco?” Zayne asked in disbelief. He knew James had a wild side, but he had to see the condom in question to truly believe it. “This I have to see.”

“Yes, cowboy,” James replied with a soft chuckle. “I’ll show it to you later.”

“Please do,” Andy interjected feeling slightly left out.

“Aww, don’t be that way, baby,” Zayne said as he slipped his hand behind Andy’s neck and pulled him into a soft kiss. “It’s you we love the most. Right, narco?”

“Right, cowboy,” James agreed and pulled Andy into a soft kiss of his own.


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 10th, 2017 09:59 pm (UTC)
Oh god... I'm so glad I'm not at work today (and that the kids haven't made it home from school yet)! I laughed so hard at the visual this created.

This is great and so in character for all of them. Let's just pray I don't crack up at inappropriate times remembering all of this. :D
Jan. 10th, 2017 10:28 pm (UTC)
Good. I'm glad I made your day. Hopefully, innocent comments involving Sponge Bob won't send you into gales of laughter, because I don't know how to bail somebody out of the nuthouse.
Jan. 11th, 2017 07:42 pm (UTC)
It really did help. :) And I'm just thankful my girls don't watch Spongebob any longer or THAT could have gotten weird fast.

Well, my guess is you'd have to break me out. Dress like a doctor and tell 'em you're transferring me. :D
Jan. 11th, 2017 10:08 pm (UTC)
Speaking of innocent....

I ran across a box of SpongeBob fruit snacks and started wondering what he and Patrick would look like on a condom, and I had to forcefully stop that train of thought before it got me call into the office for hysterical laughter.

Mryth is not allowed at Wally world unless ine is a manager, and then one can act like a horse's ass and get away with it.

I can borrow a butcher's coat and pretend to be a doctor....lol
Jan. 11th, 2017 11:32 pm (UTC)
And now I have some combination of condoms and fruit snacks and am imagining some adult version of lickable wallpaper. "Snozzberries? Who's ever heard of a snozzberry?"

But yeah... having shopped in Wally World much in my youth, I can fully get behind what you're saying there. Which is a shame because I regularly point out my boss' hard hat hair. :D

Hah! Works for me!
Jan. 11th, 2017 11:48 pm (UTC)
Snozzberry... Omg, that is too much..lol

Some reason, I think Zayne could get behind lickable wallpaper...lol
Jan. 11th, 2017 11:57 pm (UTC)
I know... shame on me for dragging poor Willy Wonka into this conversation.

I have the distinct feeling Zayne would lick anything that didn't move and smelled halfway nice. :D
Jan. 12th, 2017 02:34 am (UTC)
Then Andy and Jay better keep moving...lmao
Jan. 12th, 2017 01:12 pm (UTC)
Or not... just sayin'. LOL
Jan. 16th, 2017 09:23 pm (UTC)
Jan. 18th, 2017 12:31 am (UTC)
VERY believable! You have done a great job of kidnapping the boys temporarily! ;-)
Jan. 26th, 2017 03:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you. They are fun to play with, even temporarily.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )


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