Author: Kat Lee
Challenge/Prompt: 1_million_words A to Z Challenge: S
Warning(s): (W)Incest, Spoilers
Word Count: 842
Date Written: 23 September 2016
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Kripke, not the author, and are used without permission.
The darkness is coming. He can feel it already wrapping around him though it's still a mile or two from Baby. He hears Sam shouting for him to do something, and he's trying, but for the first time, Baby's letting him down. But he let her down before all this began.
He let them all down. He was a monster for too long. Perhaps he still is. The darkness bearing down on them now, carrying with it an evil worse than anything that's walked the earth since the very beginning, is coming because of him. It's released because of him. Sammy should have let him die.
Still trying to free Baby of the mud, Dean looks to Sammy shouting his name. As he does, he knows. He knows they're not going to make it out of this one either untouched. He knows they're not going to simply out run the darkness; they're going to have to fight it. But he knows, too, that every step of this journey has been worth it not for saving him but for all the times he's been able to save Sammy.
He should regret all of this. He should regret taking on the Mark and all it's brought. He should regret being a Demon, being a monster even without being a Demon. But suddenly, looking at his little brother yelling his name and watching him through fearful eyes that at the same time flicker with his expectancy that Dean will find a way to get them out of this mess into which he's put them, he doesn't regret any of it.
If he'd never taken the mark, if he'd never gone dark, he wouldn't have been able to save Sammy. The thing he's always wanted to do most in this cruel world is to protect his little brother, and he's done exactly that, even if the prices he and the world have had to pay are steep. But what of the prices they've paid while saving the world?
He wouldn't have had to make deals with Angels and Demons or taken the mark if not for the sacrifices they've made while saving the world. Maybe that doesn't make it okay. He's believed Sammy for a long time now that it doesn't, but suddenly, looking into his terrified eyes now, he no longer does. Every sacrifice he's made, every sacrifice he's taken from the world, is all worth it, because in the end, he saved Sammy.
This darkness is going to wash over everything and everybody, including them. There's nothing they can do to stop it. It's closing in rapidly. It still had a couple of miles to go just a minute or two ago. Now there's only seconds before it's on top of them. They still don't know exactly what it's going to do, but it doesn't matter. Somehow, some way, he's going to make it out of it and bring Sammy kicking out with him, even if he has to drag him. It won't be the end of them; he won't let it be.
"DEAN," Sam yells again, "DO SOMETHING!"
"SAMMY -- " His words catch in his throat. He is doing something or, at least, he's trying to do something. They can't outrun the darkness. Even if Baby pulled free of the mud, they still wouldn't be able to outrun it. The world can't outrun it. It's too late now. He reaches over and grabs his brother's hand. "HOLD TIGHT!" he yells instead of all the other words racing through his mind.
He looks into the eyes he loves as the darkness bears down on top of them. It looks like he's doing nothing -- he's not even trying any more to get Baby free --, but in truth, he is. He's staring into his brother's eyes and remembering all the impossible things they've beaten together. He's remembering so many of the moments they've shared -- not all of them, because it would take him hours if not days to remember them all -- but some of the best, and some of the worst, all of which he knows now were worth enduring because it meant keeping his brother alive and at his side.
Dean interlaces his fingers with Sammy's and holds tight. "I AIN'T LETTING YOU GO!" he yells above the roaring winds accompanying the darkness that's almost on them now. Everything goes black, but Dean has one more second to say, "NOT NOW, NOT EVER!", and one more moment to think everything might go to Hell, and it'll be because of them if it does, but it's still worth it. It's all worth it, because it means he's still got his Sammy.
He holds tight to the hand that clings to his until the darkness rips them apart, knocks Sam unconscious, and carries Dean to meet her. She appears to him as a beautiful woman, but that doesn't matter. He's had beautiful women. They come and go. It's only the love of brothers, he and his Sammy to be precise, that lasts forever.