slashluv18 (slashluv18) wrote in 1_million_words,

BINGO: Veronica Mars: Needed

Title: Needed
Author: Samantha
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Character/Pairing: Logan/Veronica
Rating: Pg-13/T
Challenge/Prompt: 1_million_words Bingo: Movie Quotes 3x3: "I love you..." /"I know."
Word Count: 758
Date Written: 14 June, 2016

"I love you..."

Veronica stared up into his familiar brown eyes. "I know."

"Do you love me?" Logan asked.

Veronica opened her mouth and closed it. She looked down at the ground, suddenly finding it unbelievably interesting.

Logan made a stifled sound. "I would like to think you do, but you never say it, and I'm tired of having to guess what you're feeling."

Veronica suddenly turned her eyes back to him, and they were blazing in her fury. "I'm with you, aren't I? Why would I waste my time being with you if I didn't care?"

Logan's eyes were just as ferocious. "Because Duncan is no longer an option."

Veronica swallowed. "What? You think I'm only with you because Duncan isn't available?"

"What else am I supposed to think? You dump me the summer before our senior year and a month later, you're dating Duncan again. And you did your best to pretend I didn't exist while dating him. You only started acknowledging me again when Duncan was gone. So yes, I do think I only became good enough before the love of your life was gone."

Veronica clenched her hands into tight fists. "What a load of bullshit. If you remember correctly, you were a jackass to me. That's why I pretended you didn't exist. And –"

"You hurt me by dating Duncan," Logan interrupted. "Of course I was going to be a jackass about it."

Veronica took a deep, calming breath. "I'm sorry I hurt you, but my dating Duncan didn't have anything to do with my feelings for you. My feelings for Duncan were completely separate from my feelings for you. And anyways, even if Duncan hadn't fled the country, we would have broken up pretty soon. Our relationship had run its course, and I had accepted it. Duncan leaving only made it so I didn't have to actually break up with him."

"And I'm supposed to believe that? You can say it because there's no way for me to prove you wrong, but why should I believe it?"

Veronica felt like crying. She never knew Logan doubted her feelings to such an extent. Why was it so hard for her to tell him that she loved him? She took another deep breath. She knew why it was so hard. If she said those words, he would have even more power over her, and she had been burned so many times in the past by people who claimed to love her. She wouldn't be able to handle it if Logan was added to that long list.

"After working on the bus driver case, trying to find out if the bus driver had truly driven the bus over the cliff to commit suicide, I decided after almost dying, I didn't want to have so many regrets. I was so close to going to you, but I got scared, thinking I might too late, so instead, I went to Duncan and had sex with him. And afterwards, after I was sneaking out, I discovered you had been there with another girl as well. I was so jealous. And then, I found out about you and Kendall. It made my jealousy even greater. Of course, I did my best to not show it. Instead, I hoped it came off as self-righteous. How dare you have an affair with a married woman! Really, it was jealousy. And I hated the fact that she could give you something I couldn't. When we were together, I hadn't been ready for sex, and it made me feel inferior to her. And I felt even dirtier, knowing I had sex with Duncan when I really wanted it to be you. Duncan being gone had nothing to do with me and you getting back together. I truly think it would have happened anyways. I cared about you; I wanted you. And Duncan's presence didn't change that fact."

Logan cupped her cheek and leaned down, finally kissing her.

Veronica returned it, looping her arms around his neck and keeping him close. When they separated just enough to breathe—their bodies still pressed together—Veronica continued, "I'm sorry I don't say the words. They scare me, but I never want you to believe I don't feel it. If you promise to be patient with me, I promise to work on it and try to learn to say them."

Logan kissed her forehead gently. "It's okay. I don't think I need to hear them anymore."

Veronica smiled, closing her eyes, feeling at peace in his arms.

Tags: challenge: bingo, creation: fic

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